Reevaluating 'Nobody Wants This': A Rabbi's Perspective on Jewish Representation

As I sat in the hair salon on a Friday, discussing plans for Shabbat with my stylist, I realized how easily Jewish identity can spark dialogue. When she inquired about my thoughts on the Netflix show “Nobody Wants This,” my initial response had been filled with skepticism. I often dismissed it as something I didn’t want to engage with. However, my perspective has shifted significantly in recent discussions.

The first season of “Nobody Wants This” premiered while I was in rabbinical school. I approached it critically, concerned about how Jewish life would be depicted on screen. Like many, I found myself frustrated by its portrayal of Jewish women, often perceived as harsh or demanding. But as I progressed through my studies and took a course on media representation of rabbis, my viewing lens transformed. I began evaluating the series not just through a rabbinic lens but as an evolving narrative.

Early criticisms of the show centered on the characterization of Jewish women, particularly their apparent unlikability compared to the more relatable Joanne and her sister Morgan. My previous stance was that these portrayals were damaging, yet I’ve come to see that each character holds narrative depth. It’s essential to recognize that many characters, across various shows, exhibit both likable and unlikable traits. Take Eleanor Shellstrop from “The Good Place,” for instance; she evolves significantly throughout the series, which adds richness to her character arc. We need to remember that growth is a crucial component of storytelling.

As I ponder this dichotomy of likability, I wonder if the debate has sometimes conflated individual characters with broader representations of Jewish women. Season two has already begun to deepen these portrayals, leaving me intrigued about what season three will reveal.

Understanding the Conversion Narrative

A pivotal shift in my perspective was recognizing that the show is primarily a conversion narrative, not merely an interfaith dialogue. This framing changes the viewer's expectations and engagement with the material. Given my background in an interfaith family—my mother is Ashkenazi and my father is Dominican—I’m sensitive to how interfaith stories are often told, yet that’s not the primary focus here.

Joanne, inspired by real-life podcaster Erin Foster, is depicted on a journey towards conversion—a complex and gradual process. An immediate conversion in early seasons would sidetrack the narrative, eliminating much-needed tension and character development. The beauty of storytelling lies in its messy pathways toward growth.

Looking ahead, if season three emphasizes Joanne’s conversion, it presents a unique opportunity to portray conversion through the lens of a popular actress like Kristen Bell. By sharing her journey with non-Jewish audiences, the show could encourage a broader understanding of Judaism and its communal richness. With Joanne’s discovery of not just Noah but also Jewish traditions, the series may foster appreciation for the culture, particularly amidst a rise in antisemitism.

Room for Improvement

That said, the show certainly doesn’t hit the mark in every area. It could enhance its representation of the diverse Jewish community in Los Angeles. The city's Jewish demographic is multifaceted, comprising Latino, Persian, Asian, Black, and white individuals, yet the show has yet to capture this plurality meaningfully.

Nevertheless, even with its shortcomings, I find value in “Nobody Wants This” for the way it invites conversations about Jewish identity. My stylist was eager to engage in a dialogue about Judaism after she learned I’m a rabbi, which reflects a growing curiosity among non-Jews fueled by shows like this one.

As we parted ways, with my new hairstyle and her enthusiasm for the next season, I realized I was looking forward to continuing that discussion. The show's narrative impacts beyond the screen, sparking interest and providing opportunities to share the depth and beauty of Jewish life.

Ultimately, even amidst its flaws, “Nobody Wants This” prompts a necessary exploration of Jewish identity in contemporary media. It succeeds in making Judaism more accessible, fostering connections that can flourish in an increasingly diverse society.